


Can't stop loving you

by EmmanuelleNtambwe1997



Category: Star Wars RPF
Genre: F/M, John Boyega x plus size reader, John Boyega x reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 05:57:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16867408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmanuelleNtambwe1997/pseuds/EmmanuelleNtambwe1997
Summary: John left [Y/N] to shoot a movie but his feelings for her never changed





	Can't stop loving you

“Well what did you expect?!” you screamed while throwing your hands in the air, anger pumping through your blood. You continued to glare at John, who was shaking his head in disappointment while dropping the big teddy bear he had bought for you onto the floor and sighed deeply.

“I-I thought that you would wait for me…” he slowly confessed, so much pain and regret clouding his eyes but it didn’t affect you. “How can you expect me to wait for you? You didn’t want to tell me how you felt about me and then left without saying goodbye!” you continued before huffing angrily but hating how much your heart was longing for him. You hadn’t seen him in seven months but still felt so in love with him.

You and John had been friends for three years before you began to develop romantic feelings for him, you knew the risks of suggesting to move your friendship to the next level but the way you felt about him made you prepare for the consequences. John always made you feel so loved and appreciated, not once did he made you feel uncomfortable and the way he was able to make your head spin, heart pound and stomach churn with butterflies with a few simple words left you desperate for him.

When you finally had the courage to confess your feelings to John, he answered you by capturing your lips in a breathtaking kiss. The intense emotions you felt were indescribable and it only made you fall for him more, you knew that you were ruined for other men. John poured his heart and soul into the kiss, silently feeling so happy that his biggest wish had come true.

Unfortunately, John hadn’t been able to voice his love for you after the passionate kiss because his agent had called and interrupted the romantic moment. John had gotten a big movie role and soon enough had to start the preparations of meeting the producers and director while starting a new work out plan and diet to get in good, physical shape. In that moment, his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach because he knew that he’d be very busy for the following months and wouldn’t be able to be a present boyfriend to you.

You were still caught up in the moment of celebrating his new role and didn’t notice that you hadn’t had gotten a verbal response to your romantic confession. You also weren’t aware of John silently deciding to focus on his new role and not planning to get together with you.

He never told you about his decision and was able to always distract you from coming back to the whole “are we together or not?” topic. John spent every free moment he had with you, showered you with gifts, tight hugs and gentle kisses while silently wishing that he’d be able to take you with him to shoot the movie.

It didn’t take you too long to figure out that you had never gotten a response to your romantic confession and confronted John about the whole situation, not knowing that he had to leave the following day.

You spent the evening at his house and confronted him after dinner when the two of you were relaxing on the couch. When you dropped the “So…what are we?” question, John’s heart sunk to the pit of his stomach as he wasn’t able to come up with a method to distract you. He bit his tongue while you begged him for an answer, slowly starting to feel insecure and stupid.

The evening ended up with you storming off crying as John still didn’t gave you an answer to your burning question. He whispered “It’s for the best” over and over again in order to stop himself from running after you, his heart painfully clenching in his chest as he hated how he had hurt you. The following day when you had calmed down and made your way back to John’s to apologize for storming off as you felt like you had overwhelmed him, only to find his house empty.

It had quickly dawned onto you that he had left to go start filming the movie without saying goodbye. The amount of disappointment, pain and betrayal made your stomach churn uncomfortably,  _It’s because you were being so demanding_  your inner voice spoke while you quickly rushed back to your apartment and cried your heart out.

In between the loud sobs that left your body, you kept checking your phone as you still had a little bit of hope in your heart that he’d send you a message, explaining his swift departure and apologize for it. But when you didn’t receive a message nor a call hours later, your mind made you think that John had never felt anything for you and just used you for his own benefits. And so, you ended up crying for a whole day and fell asleep with dried tear stains on your cheeks.

“Oh, I did wait for you John, I waited for a fucking explanation” you hissed and wiped the angry tears away that had made their way down your cheeks. He took a step forwards and tried to embrace you but you hummed in disapproval and sat down on the couch, not trusting yourself to have him too close to you as your mind body and soul still longed for him.

You clenched your eyes shut and remembered how you threw yourself at other guys in order to get him out of your system. You went out, met a few guys and ended up hooking up with them as you couldn’t bear to stay at home and cry over John over and over again. The hookups were able to get your mind off him for a few hours but the meaningless orgasms weren’t worth it as your heart still was aching in your chest.

It wasn’t until a two months later that you met your current boyfriend, Daniel. He saw right through you and knew that you were coping with a bad heartbreak, he gave you the space and time you needed in order to heal the scars John had let behind before showing you how much you meant to him.

A friend of yours had informed John about your new relationship and he nearly broke down on the phone as he immediately began to regret his actions. Despite that he was filming twelve hours a day, he missed you dearly and you were always in the back of his mind. John was miserable and wished that he was able to turn back the time and tell you how much he loved you.

He had to stop himself from calling you in the middle of the night or while being drunk as he didn’t want to get in between your happiness, not knowing that you didn’t love Daniel. He never made you feel the raw and intense emotions John did but you didn’t want him to think that you were using him, so you continued to be his girlfriend out of pity.

“I-I’m with Daniel” you whispered, the words leaving a bitter taste in your mouth. John read your body language, he had seen how you tensed you were and how a small frown had appeared on your face when you said those words. He knew that you weren’t happy, he felt the pain and disappointment radiate off your body as he slowly walked up to you and kneeled down in front of you.

Without a word, he gently placed his hands on your thick thighs and leaned his forehead against yours. “Please don’t do this” your voice cracked at the end as you finally opened your eyes and immediately lost yourself into John’s intense and longing gaze.

“Do what? Something I should have done a long time ago? Something that will release us from the pain and bring us nothing but love and happiness?” John whispered and slowly leaned in but didn’t press his lips against yours, yet. He wanted to be sure that you wanted the same thing and wouldn’t make a movie without your permission.

You couldn’t help but stare at his lips while your mind screamed at you to lean in and finally get what you had been wanting the past few months. You soft breaths echoed through the living room but neither of you cared. John cupped your face in his warm hands and caressed your cheeks while nudging his nose against yours, only bringing your lips closer to one another but still not touching each other.

“I love you, [Y/N]. I should have said that months ago, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met in my life and you’ve stolen my heart but I don’t even mind. You can keep it forever because it has always belonged to you” his words made your heart flutter in your chest, you had finally gotten your confession and it was better than you had imagined.

“I’m not a cheater” you frowned slightly, suddenly remembered Daniel. John hummed while slowly pulling away but not breaking the intense eye contact. “You know what to do” was all he whispered before standing up and taking a step back, his heart pounding in his chest as every second spent without kissing you physically pained him.

You calmed down your frantic breathing and took out your phone with shaky fingers. After quickly unlocking it, you sent Daniel a quick “ ** _I’m sorry to do this over text but I’m breaking up with you”_** message. Did you feel bad for not caring about your now ex-boyfriend who was begging you to take you back? No not at all, it surprised you because you weren’t the type of person to break up with someone through a text message and then jump into the next guy’s arms second later.

“Done” you mumbled and quickly stood up, your knees shaking and your heart pounding as you would finally get what you had been wanting for so long. John gave you a beautiful smile while you jumped into his arms and tightly wrapped your arms around his neck.

“My love. My beautiful, beautiful love” he whispered and stared lovingly into your eyes, so grateful that you finally were his. You let out a relaxed sigh at the feeling of his strong arms wrapping themselves around your thick waist and pulling you closer to him.

“I love you” John repeated.

“And I love you” you replied, your hearts and souls finally being at peace. The two of you leaned in and finally let your lips meet in a breathtaking kiss. You closed your eyes and lost yourselves in the beautiful feeling of finally belonging to one another.


End file.
